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Venus and Saturn
Edited by Lidia Fassio
Can you imagine how love can be seen through the eyes of Saturn? Visualise Saturn; high, a bit old, wise, with a beard, lean and bony: which type of love can it incarnate?
Here love enters into a climate of seriousness, stability, commitment and responsibility: there are rules established that must be maintained over time. Saturn is a certainty, this love must take on a look therefore on these charts since it will be used for trying a need for solidity and structures; there is also a personal and social certainty, in which everything must be done from the point of view of normality and acknowledged by the outside world.
It is a love that gives itself many limits, ready also to make sacrifices, nevertheless remaining faithful to the taken commitment that has been made. It is a bit rigorous and is based on a certain emotional distance, there are still no great rushes that can be seen: it is certainly a love that does not go against the grain because it follows the dictates of the first collective and then personal morals. The principle of liking here is secondary and there is instead a principle of necessity and form. There is no space for romance, for great passion: it is especially "doing", but at times also suffering and renunciation of the pleasant and erotic side of love.
These aspects seem to represent a paradox because the Saturn dream, when it touches love, becomes almost that of protecting against it, of not allowing it to happen: it is therefore an unrealistic virginity dream, in the sense of protection against a relationship, especially against emotional involvement with the other person, of which Saturn is always frightened, not to say terrified. Therefore, it will always tend to check that dimension of the love, imposing and creating rules that give the illusion of evading that particular sphere of life through defensive strategies. The best Saturn defence is the intellect, therefore emotions are put in a secondary position after mental and cultural resources; Venus responds with intellect and not with sentiment.
Saturn is afraid of expansion and of being free and then it somehow or other the binds the need for union: it is a love that must go down the path of autonomy, efficiency and the ability of being independent emotionally, intellectually and materially, and Venus likes becoming able to be one in oneself before being able to be in a relationship with another person, therefore there can neither reliance, and nor to too much entrustment, otherwise it would lose its limits, which have hardly been conquered. To avoid this it uses control and, at times, it is really afraid of being given.
It is a love that gives value to what lasts over time, to what is solid, is moderate and tends not to be invasive, not love which depends and does not create dependence.
Saturn leads Venus into a world with the form, and dimension of reality with all its limitation and shortage of vision. It seems a countersense because love needs dreaming, illusion and romance; here the principle of Eros is somehow or other imprisoned. If we consider mythology, Eros-Love was before each creation and before each manifestation: it is at his wish that creation is born; this means that when it is shown in this definite form it becomes hard, cools down, loses its strong ability to transform because it leaves the realm of possibility.
Also, this love must still be useful for the growth of the person and his/her individuality, in the Saturn ability to see the limit between him/her and the other person, the only condition for a true and psychological relationship that allows full acceptance of the other and that must pass through acceptance, as well as a renunciation of control, the manipulation or domination over the other person.
With Saturn love and sex will lose the magic power that they had beforehand, since it will oblige us to facing the most essential features of our psyche. We will not get lost any more inside anyone else, will no longer be enchanted or even enchanting, but we will be truer and also able to establish a real and conscious dedication towards the other person.
Here love becomes independent and faces the hardest truth: there is no certitude that exists that there is someone who will take care of us for ever. It is a love that is able to overcome human vulnerability and then be able to face the great challenge of letting go each delirium of omnipotence based on the idea that love can solve everything and especially that there should be responsibility for the problems of the other person. Saturn teaches us to respect each other’s rights of to face our problems in our own way, also because love cannot become a weight in regard to the pain problems of the other person, in the erroneous and presumptuous presupposition that we are the rescuers and that other cannot do without us. It teaches us to respect the right to suffering of the other person: showing him/her understanding and supporting him/her in their efforts, but without confusing his/her problems with ours.
In short, Saturn - Venus is the mutual acceptance of the right - duty that each one of us has to face that is authentically his/hers, the only condition therefore that can join the resolution of our own conflicts without forcing them onto the relationship and onto one other. Saturn brings us to integrate the difficulty that other has in recognising and in elaborating his/her own anger, but it reminds us that we cannot get angry in his/her place and must not get angry with him/her: this means acknowledging the separateness of our partner and his/her full individuality, without wanting either to change to transform him/her, or even to solve problems for him/her.
Anything can happen thanks to the possibility which Saturn allows us to negotiate, to see our own limits and to respect the limits of the other, learning to use emotional distance as a way of reaching a real independence from the dynamics of the other and from the need of having to feel supported. It is a love that embodies the principle of order, which wants to move with skill also in critical situations, which wants and looks for experience: which tends to lead to us to growth and maturity counting, however, only on our own means and forces; and thus leading us to fully respect the other person.
The negative side of these aspects is the fear, that, if excessive, it ends up by hampering the love, by crystallising it, by hardening it and by closing it in a solid vice. This fear can lead Saturn to become tyrannical, while the need to dominate situations changes into domination of the love itself, chaining it to suffering and to immaturity as well as to the incapacity to be independent: when Saturn does not manage to reach independence, in fact, it will need to "reign" or “sacrifice”, and in both cases the true strength is missing and in some way delegated or stolen from the other person.
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