Print article - The couple

In order to talk about a couple it is first of all necessary to start from the presupposition that when two persons live together, they should act as “two“ separate individuals and not only from a physical point of view, but especially from a psychological point of view and of identity, that automatically, leads us far at the ruling imagery of being complementary, or “two halves” that are met and that form “a whole”.
In fact, from a psychological point of view there is nothing more deceitful since the only relationship that can include this idea is the “symbiotic – fusion” relationship that regards exclusively the “mother - child” Dyad.

In Astrology the sign that becomes attached to the couple is the Libra and its corresponding house: the seventh one. The Libra is a sign of air, put on the great trinity of “communication and relationships”.
Communicating is an important word that results from the Latin "communicare" that it means literally “to put something in common”; this allows us to understand how two persons must each have "something" that has to be pooled and therefore it has nothing to do with the idea that one should take possession of something that belongs to another (whatever it is).

The above-stated concept is fundamental since to have a mature and adult relationship, it is necessary for both subjects to have characteristics, qualities and – why not – defects, and to be disposed “to pool them”.
The sign chosen to represent the union (the Libra) has a glyph that represents a Libra that has two plates and for that, they seem to look eternally for a hypothetical and ideal balance and of equality that, when it is hardly reached, is put into question.
In fact, the Libra see two plates in perfect balance only for a fraction of a second, but, however, this is an ideal and, therefore is distant from reality; it is as if it is something for that we continuously look for but is difficult to obtain because it must be developed and requires cyclic renegotiations.

The negotiation is at the moment in which two people have already taken into consideration the idea of being different, and therefore, look for points of possible sharing, but to get to this finishing line, it is necessary to learn how to "communicate" the means to develop knowledge while information is transmitted.
Communication is also the basis of another principle of air: that of the exchange that can only happen because one is different, nevertheless being able to count on joint opportunity.
Without these basic ingredients the couple has few possibilities of taking off and reason therefore resists the concept itself of a relationship, as it understands itself psychologically, starting from the presupposition that something must be continually in movement, in continuous evolution, where each finishing line reached by two interlocutors represents an arrival point but also a new departure point for a new negotiation; this is due to the fact that two consorts are also in continual movement since their needs also change.

It is a path that has been gone down so often that is fixed in the imagery: the one that represents the perfect couple endorsed as being “immutable“. Many people have the idea that a couple is something that must work in virtue of the fact that they have fallen in love; others think that things should “to happen on their own” and others are instead convinced that love should resist all the difficulties, since when it is there it is once for all.
In practical terms, few think that a relationship should be something that requires work and e commitment and not everyone knows that love is not a relationship but is a “state of being” and that to be reached it is necessary to work inside on the relationship and this presupposes will, effort and the very work that leads you to subsequently accepting the other, with his/her limits.
If all this does not happen there remains only failure and the implosion of the relationship and the end of the love.

To understand the difficult journey we all undertake, in order to build up an internal idea of a couple we cannot only think of what consciously seems to be in our head in order that we are born inside a relationship (that of our parents) and is unimaginable that this has not left us with a certain amount of imprinting which has settled in our psyche and that will contaminate our conscious way of seeing a couple, and above all, our system of orientation and choice.

The seventh house – Libra – is located on a cross-way of cardinal signs that are necessary to remind us that a relationship can only exist if we have solved the problem between the affirmation of the I that contrasts the need to be loved, fed and protected; and that of belonging – the antithesis to that depending is being autonomous and independent, impressed in the dialectic beforehand – seventh and fourth house – tenth, where the “vertical system” meets up – axis IV – X familiar psychological family inheritance, and the “horizontal system” – axis I – VII us in relation to our partners.
This crossroads is impressed on our mind and it represents a form of inheritance that we bring to ourselves exactly like chromosomes.

A relationship that we have seen for 20 years and perhaps any more is not only an external model but it has become an internal model that works in our psyche and flows in an overbearing way into our future behaviours inside the couple through models, expectations and automatic response.
If I have – for example - a Moon in the tenth house that squares with Uranus in the seventh, it will mean that I have a great need of freedom and individuality that will emerge at the moment in which I will form a couple; it will indicate nevertheless also that the scheme in action at an unconscious level which might reach me exclusively in the form of psychic inheritance from my mother, who in reality had a very traditional role of as mother and wife who may have had an unconscious need for a freer, less choking relationship, and certainly an anti-conventional model of a couple that she will certainly have removed and projected onto her husband.
This "model" will become a fundamental point in my woman's life since if I do not solve this profound dynamic – which I have inherited and that in a certain sense represents my family destiny – I will be forced to repeat this destiny, as if it is inevitable.

In fact, for us it is very important to find out what models we have inherited in terms of actions and imprinting, but only to avoid being slaves to it and to be able to choose what our own life must be like.